Sunday, January 5, 2014

Godly Husbands: Love Me Tender!

Gen 2:23- "At last!" the man exclaimed. "This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh. She  will be called 'woman' because she was taken from 'man'."

                                                                                        Photo Courtesy of Google Images
Ephesians 5:21-33
And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife; as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.
For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body.
 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
"At last!" the man exclaimed... Sounds like a happy exclamation! Adam was excited to see Eve that first day, it filled him with joy! He was no more alone, but had been given a companion, a helper, a lover. And not only was she made FOR him, she was made FROM him. Eve, the first wife, was literally one with her husband, Adam.
vs. 31: "A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united as One."
Husbands, you are to LITERALLY look upon your wife as an extension of yourself. You are to love her, cherish her, protect her, and care for her as you do for yourself. You are ONE!!
Definition of ONE: 

  • Being or amounting to a single unit or individual or entire thing, item, or object, rather than two or more; a single.
  • Existing, acting, or considered as a single unit, entity, or individual.
  • Of the same or having a single kind, nature or condition.
1 Peter 3:7 says: In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life. Treat her as you should, so that your prayers will not be hindered.
Now I know some of you are thinking the same thing my husband has said to me, "Baby, I'm trying to be nice here, but your attitude is making it hard!"
Now I won't make excuses for myself or any other wife out there, but this is where the understanding comes in. And I know, believe me, sometimes it's tough! So give your wife the respect that you would like to have if (and when!!) the situation is reversed; listen as well as you can, and if it becomes to much, take a minute to yourself to look at the situation from her angle. I know sometimes you will be the one who is right, sometimes you still won't understand completely where she is coming from, but you need to remember (as we wives need to, as well) that no matter who is right, who is wrong, or how nutty our spouse is acting: Our job is to respect them, love them and show them honor.
Remember what Ecclesiastes 7:8 says: Finishing is better than starting. Patience is better than pride.
Be patient and the matter will run itself out. Finishing a fight, is always better at the end, so lets just get to the end, patiently, shall we?
Here are 12 Commandments for Husbands I found in a pretty wonderful study on the matter (link to study) :
1. Thou shalt love thy wife and commit thyself to her for a lifetime of oneness in marriage - divine and indivisible. Thou shalt make of thy marriage an exclusive relationship so that thy wife shall never have occasion to doubt thy love nor occasion for jealousy or lack of trust. As the scriptures say, "Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:25); "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder" (Mark 10:9); "Cleave unto thy wife" (Genesis 2:24).
2. Thou shalt seek to understand thy wife. Thou shalt not be able to understand her, but thou shalt make a lifetime effort to do so. As the scriptures say, "Husbands, dwell with your wives according to knowledge" (1 Peter 3:7).
3. Thou shalt talk to thy wife when thou comest home from thy work, when thou sittest in thine house, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. Thou shalt at times turn off the television to assure thy wife she is more cherished than your favorite program, for communication is an expression of love. As the scriptures say, "Live a life of love" (Ephesians 5:2).
4.  Thou shalt not talk down to thy wife nor use sarcasm or ridicule. Thou shalt not belittle her, for her sense of self-worth is much dependent on your appreciation and encouragement of her. As the scriptures say, "Love is kind" (1 Corinthians 13:4), and again, "Do everything without complaining or arguing" (Philippians 2:14), and again, "In honor prefer one another" (Romans 12:10).
5. Thou shalt listen to thy wife, asking for her advice and opinions, and recognizing her mental abilities and talents, as Abraham asked and followed Sarah's advice. As the scriptures say, "Love is not proud or rude" (1 Corinthians 13:4-5.)

6. Thou shalt not lord it over thy wife, recognizing that the two of you are equal before God and that leadership in the home does not mean dictatorship. Neither does it mean being waited on nor having the best piece of chicken. Leadership means moral, financial, and spiritual responsibilities. Headship in the home also means sacrifice and service. As the scriptures say, "Submit yourselves one to another out of reverence for Christ" (Ephesians 5:21), and "Husbands, do not be harsh with them" (Colossians 3:19). Thou shalt not abdicate thy leadership role because of apathy or indifference, for love cares and bears all things.
7.  Thou shalt see that thy wife is thy best friend.  The closest of all human relationships is marriage and it should know joyous comradeship, with laughter and good humor. Thou shalt share affection and confidences with thy wife and long to be in her presence. As the scriptures say, "Live joyfully with thy wife whom thou lovest" (Ecclesiastes 9:9).
8. Thou shalt help thy wife in all those ways that sacrificial love would help, giving her of thy time, money, attention, affection (yea, even washing the dishes as needed), remembering that the scriptures say, "Bear ye one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:2).
9. Thou shalt accept thy wife as she is. Thou shalt not expect perfection. Thou shalt forgive her of her mistakes and confess thine own to her, remembering that "love covereth all sins" (Prov. 10:12).  "Forgive each other as God in Christ has forgiven you" (Ephesians 4:32).
10. Thou shalt practice tenderness as the essential emotion, realizing that sex is a gift of God which expresses and enhances love. Sex is giving joy as well as receiving it. Thou shalt consider that nothing can erode the sexual union more than selfishness. Remember the scriptures say, "The husband's body does not belong to him alone, but also to his wife" (1 Corinthians 7:4); "Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies" (Ephesians 5:28); "As ye would that (she) should do unto you do ye even so unto (her)” (Matthew 7:12).
11. Thou shalt in some way each day show thy wife that "I need you,” that “I appreciate you,” and that "I want to help you." So shalt thy marriage become a strong and blest tie that binds two hearts in Christian love.

12. And should thy marriage become trying and seemingly an endurance contest, thou shalt not give up. Thou shalt "bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, endure all things" (1 Corinthians 13:7). Thou shalt trust thy God who is love and who is the God of the resurrection to rekindle and renew thy love. Thou shalt treat thy wife as thou didst when love was new. And having done all, thou shalt "suffer long" and "cast thy burdens on the Lord" knowing that he careth for thee and thy mate (1 Peter 5:7).
I'd like to end this with a prayer, and I ask that you agree with me in it! (If two of you agree on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in Heaven will do it for you -Mat 18:19)
Heavenly Father, we come before you will joy and thanksgiving in our hearts! You have blessed us beyond our own knowledge, and we love you for all you've given us!! We ask, Father, that you help us to be better spouses. To live joyfully together, to help take on each other's burdens, to always remember that love is kind, not proud nor rude, and to forgive each other wholly as You have forgiven us! We ask these things Lord in your beautiful name, and through the Power of Christ's blood!

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