Sunday, January 19, 2014

Wives: Will You Make Him or Break Him? (pt2)

Again I say, don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights. A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. 
-2 Tim. 2:23-24 

                                                                                       Photo Courtesy of Google Images

Fact: Married couple's argue.
Fact 2: According to the Word of God, we don't have too.

In fact, we're told not too. Time and time again the Word tells us that to obey God, we need to close our mouths. Sometimes, that seems impossible. My husband and I will be arguing without even realizing we are, why? Because our pride has taken over, and when your pride steps in, it doesn't leave room for the Holy Spirit.
Proverbs 31:10 says, Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice. It also says in 11:2, When pride comes, then disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. 

What is pride? 
God has made each one of us capable of amazing achievements, but the attitude that arises, Pride, is not of Him. The Word says that Pride is not of the Father, but of the world. Now I'm not saying that being happy with your accomplishments is an at all bad thing, but Pride isn't being happy, it's giving credit to only yourself, when all glory is to always go to God. 
Pride in an argument is that feeling you get that you are right, and the other person is wrong. The fact of the matter is, you may be right. But that doesn't matter. Why? Because we are supposed to humble ourselves. We are supposed to submit to our husband, graciously. 
When you give place to Pride, you are turning away from God.

What is being humble?
In the world's view being humble is being weak, or thinking that oneself is insignificant or of low importance. But the Biblical meaning of the word is much different. True Humility is putting the will of God before our own,  realizing how awesome and amazing he is, and lowering ourselves before him with reverence. In a nutshell, biblical humility is becoming obedient to the Father without thinking about it. It is the complete opposite of pride, which thinks of only yourself.

What does this have to do with arguing with my husband?
Only everything! What's something I've repeated and repeated? Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord! When you submit, you are humbling yourself. You are glorifying God and not yourself. When an argument arises are you humbling yourself? Or do you think that because you may or may not be right about something, that it gives you the right to disobey the Lord? That, is pride at it's best (or worst).

I know sometimes, it seems difficult not to argue with your husband. I know this from personal experience. I'm still asking God each day for patience, for humility, and to Love my husband the way the Lord loves him. To stop arguing completely is going to take time, and it's going to take practice. Our pride has become a habit that most of us have learned since we were children. But God has given us the strength to overcome it.

1 Cor 13:4
Love is Patient, Love is Kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it isn't Proud.

Before an argument starts, or when we are arguing and I realize that I am disobeying Him, I think of this first, I look at it like a list. Am I being patient? kind? Am I envying? being boastful? Am I being prideful? 
More than I would like to admit, I don't answer the way I need to be answering. So what should happen when we realize we aren't walking in love with our husband? When pride has taken over? When we are disobeying?

That's when we need to step back, and humble ourselves. Apologize and crush our pride, this is the only way to form new and better habits in our relationship.

                                                                                       Photo Courtesy of Google Images

Before his downfall, a man's heart is proud; but humility comes before honor.
Proverbs 18:2

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